Hey friends!! I feel like it has been so long since I’ve taken the time to write in a blog post. Most of that is because I send out a weekly email now and I use that to share lots different words that are put on my heart (if you want to be added to the mailing list, just email me and let me know- I would be happy to add you! gracefullykellen@gmail.com) but I have been itching to write a blog again for a few weeks now. Tonight has been the night that I put that into action and work on sharing a word that God placed on my heart for such a time as this. Most of us that read my blog are in the United States and right now, in this season of life, our kiddos are going through a transition time from going to school to now having summer vacation and being at home or traveling with us. If we aren’t yet, we are about to be spending many more hours a week with our kids and with that, comes a lot more patience, love and mercy that we are going to have to be shown and model in the coming weeks. This message is aimed mostly towards ladies but can also be applied to the men/husbands of the family as well!!
Lately, I’ve had this pull on my mouth and in my heart. The pull shuts my mouth when I’m about to say something that I’m going to regret (most of the time) and also tears at my heart strings to extend grace towards that situation that, if I’m being honest, I’ve judged a little too quickly. I have no doubts in my mind that God is the center of all of those pulls. I have been digging deeper and deeper into the Word and messages that I listen to and I know that when I dig myself deeper into the Word and into who He is, God continues to transform my heart and mind to be more like Him… quick to listen and slow to speak. Now, there are PLENTY of times that I have ignored that pull and decided to open my mouth anyways and spit back what I know isn’t loving and it surely isn’t what I want to be known for. It usually is rooted in anger and resentment in the moment for the emotions that I’ve been experiencing when I spew the words and the second that they come out of my mouth, I regret them. Can I tell you one of the most humbling things ever? It’s when you’re angry AND you feel remorse for the things you’ve done… so much so that you have to let that anger go because you now have some apologizing to do. That is super humbling and puts me in my place really quickly.
Devotions have really been helping me with finding the proper balance of standing up for myself and what is wrong and not letting my words win in the arguments of life the past few years. I have grown a lot, slowed down in my anger, and worked on expressing with my words what is wrong so that people don’t have to play a guessing game of “what emotion will Kellen come at me with today?”. Jesus has shown me so many avenues of life that I need to work on in myself so that I am able to be a light and a role model to those around me. I’ve had to say “Jesus, you need to take this because I can’t. I’m not able to do this maturely” a lot of the time because I have been able to see that how I want to handle something is far from the best response. I have recently, while doing devotions, realized that after starting the book of Proverbs for the third time now (I’m on my 3rd round through my Chronological Bible in a year, whoop whoop!!), that Proverbs really is one of my top 3 favorite books of the Bible… Don’t ask me for my other two, I haven’t fully decided what those are yet but I felt like saying Proverbs was my all time favorite book of the Bible was too much of a commitment so we are going to meet in the middle and say one of my top three. It is just so full of wisdom and little thinking nuggets sprinkled in that it makes reading that book enjoyable.
Proverbs has a verse that spoke so deeply to my heart and I felt God whisper a message straight to my soul.
“A wise woman builds her home,
but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”
Proverbs 14:1
I read this and instantly I felt God prompting me to see that this verse has so much meaning behind it. I felt God telling me to read beneath what was in the lines. To see what it means to build a home and what it means to tear it down with your own hands.
A woman who builds her home is one who speaks life into her family though everything she says. She makes sure that her children know that they are loved, accepted and adored so that they have a safe space to come home to. She builds her children’s hopes and dreams up and lets them know that they are capable of anything that God puts on their hearts to achieve. She is the person who reminds them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and she guides them and corrects them when discipline is needed. She has the ability to be stern but also has the ability to bend with the tides and not break. To explain why disciple has to be given when it is needed and that guidance and consequences are there to correct behavior.
A wife who builds her husband up is someone who encourages him to pursue his dreams and reminds him of how well he is doing to provide for their family. She picks her words carefully when it comes to bringing up disagreements or frustrations and she makes sure to address the issue and not attack the character of her husband. She communicates her thoughts and feelings in a way that isn’t rude but is easy to understand and direct. She constantly reminds herself that no one is perfect and to give the members of her family the same grace she extends to herself when things go wrong. There are so many instances that I fail at being the woman who builds her family up and I am working on changing that every chance I see where I responded incorrectly.
On the other hand, a woman who tears down her home looks like someone who spews hate and anger with her words. She speaks without thinking and tears down anything and everything that is in opposition to her opinion. She yells at her children without any direction or love given and she doesn’t mind embarrassing them or hurting their self esteem in the process. A woman that tears down her husband attacks his character and disrespects him any chance she can get. She constantly nags at her husband and doesn’t ever point out positives from the things he does. Tearing down your family can happen little by little over time if you let it. It can be one small, negative comment after another. The small comments all chip away over time and the smaller nitpicking leads your heart to look for the bigger things to pick apart until you are tearing down the walls of your family quickly and easily. There are many times that in my emotions of life, I become the woman who tears down her family and spews anger and pain.
My friends, I am reminding myself of all of these characteristics from both types of women as I am writing it for you. I am remembering that all of my small actions, while they may seem insignificant now, can add up to really big and helpful or harmful things towards my family over time. If you aren’t building up your family and making it stronger, you are leaving room for the enemy to come in and try to steal, kill and destroy the relationships that are the very fabric of your family. It is so important that as the wife and mother role of your family, you are working to build your family up. It is important that you remember the gravity of your words and actions on the family you have. Women are often the emotional supports of the family and if we aren’t able to fulfill our roles in the family, we leave a big gap in the family structure and give the enemy all of the leverage he needs in order to sneak in and cause chaos. I know that we are all human and that women can’t do it all for the family every single second of every day. I also know that with Jesus on our side, we are able to achieve far more than we need to in order to play our part in our families.
Make sure that you are digging into the Word every single day and grounding yourself in the truths that are given through the Word of God. If you are feeling burnt out and in need of a break, play some worship music, unplug from social media and plug your heart into the message that Jesus is whispering to you today. Part of our problem in the modern world is that we are so focused on all of the commotion happening around us that we forget that our fuel comes from God and God alone. If we don’t take care of our relationship with Jesus first, we will never be enough to be able to succeed in any other relationships that we have. Also, remember that prayer changes things. With prayer being given daily for the sake of your family, you’re allowing God to take control and work His miracles in and through you.
My prayer this week and for the coming weeks is that God reminds me of what it means to be a leader in my family towards building everyone up and being very careful not to tear anyone down. I pray that you find peace in the presence of Jesus and that you know just how much He loves you and cares for you. That you are made aware every day just how much He wants to strengthen you and your family through His blood.
If you need prayer for anything at all this week, please reach out. I would be happy to partner with you in prayer. Please know that you are so loved and valued. You are forgiven and set free through the power of Jesus! And remember to remind yourself- be careful little mouth what you say.
~Gracefully,
Kellen~
Gracefully Kellen 